Wow, I can't believe I am finally sitting down to write this! It is such a surreal feeling to be writing my own birth story after reading and hearing so many others' over the years. It has taken me a little while to get around to this due in part to the fact that life with a newborn is a little bit crazy (currently nursing with one hand and typing with the other, ha!) and also because I wanted to take some time to mentally go over and process everything that happened. 

So without further ado, here is the story of how our sweet Elsie Wren came into the world!

l'll start by saying a natural birth was the plan from the very beginning. In fact, this was something I knew I wanted for a long time. My mom delivered all of us naturally and so did my mother-in-law, so this wasn't something that seemed crazy or out of the ordinary for me. I knew it was possible - after all, women have been doing it for thousands of years! And throughout my pregnancy as I studied and prepared for labor, I learned even more about just how incredibly beneficial an unmedicated, intervention-free delivery is for both mom and baby. 

At the same time, as a first-time mom, I tried not to have too many expectations as far as the specifics went because I knew that it happens so differently for everyone. But I also knew that there were a few things I could do to set myself up for success: The first was by believing for a supernatural delivery and the speaking the Word over myself and baby girl throughout my pregnancy. The second was finding a healthcare provider that I trusted who was supportive and would advocate for me and my desire for a natural birth.

I wanted to deliver at a birth center and my husband, Jordan, was supportive and in agreement with that as well. After touring a couple different ones, we settled on one that is also a part of a hospital, but separate from the actual labor and delivery unit. We had a lot of peace about this decision being that I could be transferred quickly and easily in the event that anything were to happen. I saw several different midwives throughout my pregnancy and all were amazing! I was confident that on delivery day they would completely trust my body and its ability to do what it was designed to do without intervening unnecessarily.

I asked my mom to be there with me as my doula (she became a certified birth doula years back) for additional support during labor. Jordan and I also did a lot of labor prep together so he would know what to expect and could confidently support me emotionally and physically as well!

Okay, now for how it all happened. (Get ready... it's going to be a long one!)

Monday, January 28th, I was a day short of 39 weeks pregnant and feeling VERY ready to pop at any moment. I had been feeling a lot of pressure and could tell Elsie was already super low for a couple of weeks. I even told my family multiple times that I felt like she was going to come any day! I went out to dinner that night with my mom and a friend and while I was sitting there, I suddenly started to feel some cramping. I hadn't had any cramping during my entire pregnancy, so I felt like something could be up.

Once I got home, I felt the urgency to finalize our bags and make sure everything was set. Being that I was delivering at a birth center and would be going home around just four hours after delivery, we didn't need to pack very much, but I wanted to make sure we were ready to go in case we needed to rush out the door.

Well... good thing I did! Because while laying in bed at 2 am, trying to fall sleep, I felt a HUGE gush. I hopped up, closed my legs as fast as I could to avoid soaking the bed, and waddled to the bathroom. It kept on coming and I realized... my water broke! I called to Jordan from the bathroom, but he was still half asleep and didn't process what I had said right away, haha. Once he fully realized what was happening, we became so excited that our baby girl was finally on her way!! I then changed my clothes, we put a towel down on the bed, wrote down the time, and attempted to go back to sleep until contacting the midwives in the morning, which is what they told us to do if my water broke in the middle of the night.

However, as soon as I laid back down, I almost immediately started having contractions. There were a few light ones and then they pretty quickly intensified. I tried sleeping through them, but there was NO way that was happening, so I whipped out my contraction timer app and started timing them. They got stronger and stronger and I was convinced things were progressing quickly! I just continued laying in bed breathing through each contraction (and throwing up, sorry if that's TMI!) and by 7 am they were about 3 to 4 minutes apart, so we called the midwife and made a plan to meet at the birth center at 8 am.

My mom rushed over, I attempted to get dressed and ready in between strong contractions, and we headed out the door. We met the midwife there and I immediately went in to be checked. I hoped and prayed I was getting close being that I had already labored for 6 hours at that point, contractions were getting intense, and I was already exhausted because I hadn't slept the entire night. I remember sitting there barely even able to hold my eyes open!

If only I knew what was to come...

She checked me and then proceeded to tell me that I was only one centimeter dilated. One. I was shocked and SO disheartened! All I could think about was the fact that I was already in so much pain and utterly exhausted and there was no way I could go on for much longer. I didn't understand. I had labored all through the night already and barely had anything left in me... How could I only be one centimeter?

She reminded that while I had a lot of hard work ahead of me that day, that I was in fact going to have a baby by the end of it and that encouraged me. She also said that while I was only one centimeter, I was already fully effaced (thinned) and baby girl was so so low that if I could just get my contractions to ramp up, she would come so quickly once I was ready to push!

From there, my midwife gave me the option to go ahead and be admitted to my room or to go labor some more at home and take a strong antihistamine that would make me even drowsier and hopefully help me get some sleep. We decided to go home for the time being and I took the pill she gave me, which knocked me out, but I still woke up with each strong contraction. (Might I add... I was still getting sick every so often, so I wasn't able to keep anything down and therefore had ZERO energy.) I slept on and off for four hours on the couch and around 2 pm, my contractions started getting closer together. Jordan contacted the midwife again and back to the birth center we went!

They immediately admitted me to my room this time, which was so nice! It was big, had a comfy bed, a jet tub in the corner, and a nice bathroom. It felt so homey in there. We diffused essential oils and turned on my worship playlist to create a peaceful atmosphere as I continued laboring.

The midwife came in and checked me again and this time I was around 3-4 centimeters. I remember just being discouraged by how slowly I was dilating when I felt like I had been laboring so hard! It was not going at all how I had hoped or imagined. (I had already been in labor for over 12 hours at this point.) From there, I just tried to get in the zone and focus on the task at hand, which was to get moving so that my contractions would get stronger and closer together and I could finally meet Elsie!

I did different things like bouncing on the birth ball, getting in the shower and having Jordan put hot water on my back, and just moving around so I could get into the active stage of labor. I continued having contractions, but they were about the same intensity-wise as they had been all day, give or take.

Then sometime later that afternoon, around 5 or 6 pm, my midwife had the birth center director come in and check me to get her opinion on where I was at and feel the position of the baby to see if that possibly had something to do with why I wasn't progressing like I should. She told me I was 5 centimeters and suggested I try getting in a few positions with the peanut birth ball to see if we could turn the baby in a certain way. I don't really remember the specifics of what she said because I was was in a total mental fog. I'm honestly surprised I have remembered as much as I have!

After that, my midwife brought me IV because of how drained I was at that point from not being able to keep anything down all day and getting no sleep. (I hadn't had any food or liquids since dinner the night before!) She gave that to me and allowed me to get in the warm tub so I could rest and relax. Both of those things helped so much! I felt so refreshed after the IV and even Jordan and my mom mentioned how much better I looked. The tub felt amazing and actually managed to slow down and stop my contractions almost entirely, which while not ideal, I was so thankful for because I was able to get in bed afterward and nap for about an hour!

It was around 8 or 9 pm when I woke up and my midwife came back in to check on me. At this point, they were beginning to get a little concerned about how long it had been since my water had broken and the fact that I still was not even in active labor. This was the first time she brought up the idea of possibly transferring over to labor and delivery so that I could get Pitocin to speed things along. I was pretty disappointed to think it was coming to that point, but I told her I wanted to keep trying for a little bit longer.

My contractions had completely stalled, so she had me get back up and moving around, try the birth ball positions the director recommended, and then she even did some different massages on my back to try to turn Elsie's position hoping that would help me start dilating more quickly. I started contracting again just like I had been before, but another couple of hours passed and I hadn't made any significant progress.

It was getting close to midnight and I was just so ready to finally meet our baby, be out of pain, and get some rest. I asked Jordan what he thought we should do and he told me he had a peace about going ahead and transferring. He was super encouraging and just told me that I had done all that I could and for whatever reason my body just was not wanting to progress like it should. We called the midwife back in and told her we had decided to transfer, so she called over there to tell them we were coming and let them know my situation. When she came back in, she said that she knew the midwife currently on staff and trusted her completely. She told me that I wouldn't have to worry about having unnecessary interventions pushed on me because they support and understand natural birth being that they work with the birth center often and that I could expect to get the post-birth procedures that I wanted (delayed cord clamping, immediate skin-to-skin, etc.) She continued to reassure me that I would be in good hands and would stay with me until I was settled.

So within a couple of minutes, Jordan and my mom packed up all of my stuff and I was whisked away in a wheelchair right around midnight. My dad, sister, brother, and grandma had been in the waiting room of the birth center since much earlier that day (they were so supportive!) and they followed behind over to the hospital. After just a quick walk and elevator ride, I found myself in a hospital bed being hooked up to various monitors, which was quite a different experience from before.

I'll save you all the boring details of how they had to ask me a ton of questions about myself and my health. My midwife stayed with me a little while longer and then had to leave after about 45 minutes to meet up with someone else who was in labor.

My nurse told me she was going to go ahead and get me started with a very small dose of Pitocin, which is when I started to get nervous because I had heard so many stories of how much more intense contractions are with Pitocin and I just wasn't sure how I could handle any more after being in labor for almost 24 hours already! I asked her to wait so we could talk about pain management options first. Mind you, I knew nothing about this being that I only prepared for a natural birth, so she went over them all with me and explained the differences. I had the option to have an opioid in my IV that would only last about an hour, nitrous oxide that I would have to control myself with each contraction, or an epidural.

Jordan and my mom told me they would support whatever I felt like I needed to do at this point being that I had labored naturally for SO long already. I never thought I would ever even consider any type of medication, but I knew that if I was going to have any energy at all once it was time to push, I HAD to get some rest. So I opted for the epidural and oh my word, I'm so thankful I did! I felt a million times better and actually was able to laugh for the first time all day! Then I was given the Pitocin and watched my contractions slowly ramp up on the monitor, but didn't feel much at all.

It was around 1 am and we were all finally able to get some sleep! Jordan and my mom crashed on the couch and recliner and we were all out for the next 4 hours. The nurse came in a couple times throughout the night to check on me and drain my bladder. (I had no idea I wouldn't be allowed to get up AT ALL with the epidural... even to pee, ha!)

Then around 5 am, I started to wake up from intense pressure and my nurse came in at about the same time to check me. I was FINALLY at 10 centimeters!!! The moment I had been waiting for for the past 27 hours! And the funny part is, I dilated from 6-10 all while asleep, so I basically slept through the entire transition part of labor (which is normally the most intense stage)!

The room was dark and both Jordan and my mom were still asleep, but the nurse had me do a couple of practice pushes and then hurried out to get the rest of the team! Like I said before, I began feeling more and more pressure and then it was like my epidural had completely worn off because from that point on, I was able to feel EVERYTHING.

The nurse came back in and announced it was time to push, Jordan and my mom woke up, and the rest of the team finally came in and got everything ready. I pushed for probably about 20-30 minutes before the midwife finally came in and then pushed for another 30-45 minutes. And oh my word... that was the most intense thing I have ever experienced in my life. I felt every single bit of what was happening and remember telling everyone, "I can't do this!" over and over again. But looking back, it was pretty cool because as ridiculously hard as it was, I still pretty much experienced a natural labor and birth!

I remember being surprised that it was taking so long because of how low they told me she was and just so badly wanted her to finally be out. Jordan, my mom, nurse, and midwife were all SO amazing during this process and continued to encourage me the entire time.

Then at 6:19 am, after 28 hours of labor... Elsie Wren Anderson made her entrance into the world!!!

It was SUCH a surreal moment when the midwife pulled her out and held her up for the first time. I looked over at Jordan and he was in tears. The whole experience was just so incredible. This little person we waited for, talked about, watched grow, and felt kick for the past 9 months was finally here and she was OURS.

They put her on my chest right away and I just remember wanting to study her face after wondering what she would look like for so long! I was amazed and in love and so so relieved! I held her for a little while as my midwife delivered the placenta, had Jordan cut the cord, and then stitched me up. I was hoping to not tear, but I wasn't able to push in an upright position due to getting the epidural, therefore I didn't have as much control over that. Fortunately, it was not nearly as bad as I had expected.

The rest of my family finally came in after waiting outside for ALL those hours and met Elsie for the first time, which was so special!

All in all, labor was LONG and rough and it didn't go like I had hoped or planned, but she was here, we were both healthy, and that's really all that mattered.

Reflecting back on this day and how everything happened, I feel like part of it was the Lord's way of preparing me for motherhood. He showed me that things don't always go our way or how we expect them to, but that's just part of life. That sometimes we have to give up our wants and desires and surrender all control to Him. And I have definitely learned even more about that since becoming a mom!

He also reminded me that even when things don't make sense to us, like my body not wanting to progress and labor dragging out like it did, He is ALWAYS there in the midst of every circumstance and we just have to trust He knows what He is doing. My plan was to deliver at the birth center, but that wasn't His plan and ultimately, I only want what He wants because that is always the BEST way. In the end, He kept Elsie and I safe and healthy throughout the entire process and there was never any reason for concern. I am so thankful to everyone who prayed for us! I know it made a difference.

"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9

So there you have it - Elsie Wren's birth story! I fall more in love with this little girl every day and feel so honored and privileged to be her mama. It has been such a joy to watch Jordan become a daddy as well and we are just enjoying every moment of this sweet season as new parents!