What It's Like to Get Married Young
Thursday, August 09, 2018
Jordan and I celebrated two years of marriage the other day and it's honestly so hard to believe! In some ways it feels like our wedding day was just yesterday and in others it feels like we've been together forever. When I reflect over the past two years, I think most about how much we've grown and learned and changed and become better in so many different areas of life.
Getting married at 19 years old was definitely one of the best decisions I've ever made and I have never once regretted it for a second, but sometimes I think getting married young has a negative stigma attached to it...
I want to dive into some of those common misconceptions and frequently asked questions and share what life has really been like for the past two years:
I want to dive into some of those common misconceptions and frequently asked questions and share what life has really been like for the past two years:
1. "Why do you want to throw your life away so early?"
First of all, when did marriage become associated with "throwing your life away"? It's hard to believe that some people think once you say "I do," you are no longer free to live your life, pursue your dreams, go on adventures, see the world, fill in the blank... That you are forced to settle down, work, wash dishes, and pop out babies for the rest of your days.
This is not at ALL how I perceived marriage to be from the beginning and it is not at all what it has been. From day one, marriage has been full of adventure! We have travelled so many places together, taken countless, spontaneous trips to Disney just for fun, and we plan for the future together and talk about our goals and dreams. We even try to find ways to keep life exciting even in the day-to-day, whether that be little coffee dates or walks on the beach or spending time with our friends.
Not to mention, it's like having a sleepover every night with your very best friend! I think that's one of my favorite parts. Marriage is supposed to be fun, y'all!
First of all, when did marriage become associated with "throwing your life away"? It's hard to believe that some people think once you say "I do," you are no longer free to live your life, pursue your dreams, go on adventures, see the world, fill in the blank... That you are forced to settle down, work, wash dishes, and pop out babies for the rest of your days.
This is not at ALL how I perceived marriage to be from the beginning and it is not at all what it has been. From day one, marriage has been full of adventure! We have travelled so many places together, taken countless, spontaneous trips to Disney just for fun, and we plan for the future together and talk about our goals and dreams. We even try to find ways to keep life exciting even in the day-to-day, whether that be little coffee dates or walks on the beach or spending time with our friends.
Not to mention, it's like having a sleepover every night with your very best friend! I think that's one of my favorite parts. Marriage is supposed to be fun, y'all!
2. "How do you know he's 'the one'?"
Instead thinking of it as finding "the one," I prefer to think of it as discovering "God's best."
I believe God has a perfect plan for each of our lives and when we walk in His will every single day by listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit, we are going to get God's very BEST for us. This can be as small as feeling in your spirit that you should turn right instead of left or as big as knowing deep down that you need to end the relationship you are in.
For me, I know the Holy Spirit spoke through my mom the day I was invited to a kick-off meeting for the college group at our church. I did not want to go, but she was convinced I should.. so against my flesh, I went. And I met my husband for the first time that night. The end. (Haha, but seriously! I'll share that story in more detail in another post.)
Jordan came into my life when I was least expecting it or even looking for a relationship. Once we really started getting to know each other though, I just knew he was God's best for me. I knew through his actions, his character, his love for people and for the Lord, our mutual goals and dreams, our likemindedness... And ultimately, I knew this was someone I could honor, glorify, and serve God as well as advance the Kingdom along with, which is our sole purpose on this earth as believers.
(But remember: once you say "I do," that person is "the one!")
3. "Are your parents okay with it?"
Our parents were all for it!
Once my parents got to know Jordan and saw how the Lord worked to bring us together and how He worked through our relationship, they also knew (going back to the point above) that he was God's best for me. Plus my parents have the exact same age gap as Jordan and I have (five years) and actually got married a year younger than we did, so they got it because they were in our shoes once.
I'm so thankful we had their support because they were able to speak into our lives and work through things with us as we were preparing to get married. Parents want the best for you and can see things you can't always see when you're blinded by love, so it's important to hear what they have to say.
Instead thinking of it as finding "the one," I prefer to think of it as discovering "God's best."
I believe God has a perfect plan for each of our lives and when we walk in His will every single day by listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit, we are going to get God's very BEST for us. This can be as small as feeling in your spirit that you should turn right instead of left or as big as knowing deep down that you need to end the relationship you are in.
For me, I know the Holy Spirit spoke through my mom the day I was invited to a kick-off meeting for the college group at our church. I did not want to go, but she was convinced I should.. so against my flesh, I went. And I met my husband for the first time that night. The end. (Haha, but seriously! I'll share that story in more detail in another post.)
Jordan came into my life when I was least expecting it or even looking for a relationship. Once we really started getting to know each other though, I just knew he was God's best for me. I knew through his actions, his character, his love for people and for the Lord, our mutual goals and dreams, our likemindedness... And ultimately, I knew this was someone I could honor, glorify, and serve God as well as advance the Kingdom along with, which is our sole purpose on this earth as believers.
(But remember: once you say "I do," that person is "the one!")
3. "Are your parents okay with it?"
Our parents were all for it!
Once my parents got to know Jordan and saw how the Lord worked to bring us together and how He worked through our relationship, they also knew (going back to the point above) that he was God's best for me. Plus my parents have the exact same age gap as Jordan and I have (five years) and actually got married a year younger than we did, so they got it because they were in our shoes once.
I'm so thankful we had their support because they were able to speak into our lives and work through things with us as we were preparing to get married. Parents want the best for you and can see things you can't always see when you're blinded by love, so it's important to hear what they have to say.
4. "How do you know you are ready for that kind of commitment?"
I don't think you are every truly ready for big life events like marriage, having kids, etc...
However, we knew we wanted to be married. We were ready to start our lives together and that was that. By no means did we have it all figured out and we definitely had a lot of growing up to do (still do!). But that's the beauty of getting married young... you get to grow up, form your lives, establish your own traditions, experience the world, and learn together!
I don't think you are every truly ready for big life events like marriage, having kids, etc...
However, we knew we wanted to be married. We were ready to start our lives together and that was that. By no means did we have it all figured out and we definitely had a lot of growing up to do (still do!). But that's the beauty of getting married young... you get to grow up, form your lives, establish your own traditions, experience the world, and learn together!
5. "You don't want to live your life before being tied down?"
I have several friends who have that free-spirited, independent personality and just want to do life, explore the world, and figure themselves out on their own while they are still single, and I totally get that. Everyone's journey is different and not everyone wants to get married young. If that's you, then awesome! Go enjoy your season of singleness and enjoy the freedom your schedule allows. But just know that when do you get married one day, you can still do all of those exciting things you want to do right alongside your spouse. I don't see it at all as being "tied down." Marriage is what you make of it and it can be a truly amazing adventure!
I'm so thankful to the Lord for bringing Jordan into my life when he did. Being married to him has been the greatest gift and the past two years have been the best of our lives!
I have several friends who have that free-spirited, independent personality and just want to do life, explore the world, and figure themselves out on their own while they are still single, and I totally get that. Everyone's journey is different and not everyone wants to get married young. If that's you, then awesome! Go enjoy your season of singleness and enjoy the freedom your schedule allows. But just know that when do you get married one day, you can still do all of those exciting things you want to do right alongside your spouse. I don't see it at all as being "tied down." Marriage is what you make of it and it can be a truly amazing adventure!
I'm so thankful to the Lord for bringing Jordan into my life when he did. Being married to him has been the greatest gift and the past two years have been the best of our lives!
1 comments
excellent blog - young love from one generation to the next
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